Dirty Dreams
by Titania Le Fey
Summary: Snake missing Xena and with a new girlfriend takes the situation to a logically dirty fantasy.


_Snake had been lying on the couch when he heard someone come in the front door. Slowly he sat up not expecting anyone and curious as to who showed up. When he saw who it was it hit his heart and crotch like a blow to the head. He felt fluttery and faint._

"Xena?" Snake swore she was a mirage but he was already over the couch and heading for her.

"Snake." She smiled and that was all he needed to see. Plissken had her in his arms and locked in a kiss like a bonfire. He missed her and though he'd been trying to ignore it lately while she was away he loved her.

"How you been baby? We've missed you." Snake started stroking her hair unsure if she was really there still.

"I'm feeling better. Solan is with mom training at the Centaur camp." Xena was focusing on him intently but he didn't mind or notice why.

Snake grinned and kissed her when he decided it was her.

"I see you're having fun." The bitter sting in those words brought Snake up to look at her. His eye followed her gaze to the scratches down his shoulder. "Have you been seeing someone?"

Snake froze up. He was busted and about to get his ass beat if he didn't think fast. "I… yeah I have. Things went to shit when you went home baby."

She didn't seem to buy it. "How dare you."

"Baby please. Hope left not long after you did. I got to feeling like shit. Was an accident… at first." Snake was struggling for words. Rarely did he feel so panicked but there was an idea forming in his mind.

"You're my husband." He could see she was too mad to even get out a yelling fit like she did at times.

"Greeks sometimes have more than one." That got him a glare and he changed his tactics. "Look she knows that you got the say and is willing to go." Snake felt defeated.

"Do you love her?" Xena had either calmed down or was so mad she couldn't even express it.

Now what? Plissken looked into Xena's eyes and sighed. "No more than I love you." He was already fucked there was no reason not to be honest.

"I told you I don't share my men." Xena had a firm but not painful grasp on his crotch and murder in her eyes.

Snake had to think quickly and smiled. "Maybe I'm the one sharing, not you?"

She gave him a look and he knew he was treading on thin ice to get past her catching him trying to smooth things over.

"She likes girls too." Snake said it as innocently as anyone could manage to say that.

"I want to meet her." Xena let him go and stood stoically in front of him.

"Now?" Snake wasn't sure what to do.

"Yes."

Taking a deep breath he called out to Bria as he slipped an arm around Xena. Snake leaned over and kissed his wife's neck before working up to her lips. He was deeply entangled in a kiss when he heard Bria enter the living room. As soon as he stopped kissing he looked over at Bria. Her whole expression was full of hurt. He knew she recognized Xena and what it was supposed to mean when she came home.

"Come here honey." Snake motioned for her to come over and join him and Xena. She did but reluctantly. When she got close enough Snake gave her a kiss nearly as hot as the one he'd been laying on Xena when Bria walked in. He didn't care if Xena hit him for it. Snake had to make sure Bria knew he wasn't going to give up. Smiling and feeling more confident when kissing Bria didn't get him beat.

"Bria, this is my wife Xena. Xena, my girlfriend Bria." Snake realized he was holding his breath when he stopped talking. Anything could happen now. They could turn on each other, turn on him, fight. Snake felt like he would faint from holding on to that breath by the time either woman moved. Bria got up on her tiptoes a bit and kissed Xena's cheek. As far as Snake figured that only made the tension worse.

The two women exchanged a look Snake didn't quite understand but the two smiled. Snake let the breath out and started to breathe again. A moment passed with nothing but looks between the two women. It was like he was deaf or they had ESP. There was a conversation going on in those physical cues that he just wasn't catching. He got it soon enough when the two women turned toward him and pushed him over the back of the couch down into the seat.

Snake was completely off guard and scrambling because he wasn't sure what they were up to. He barely made it up onto his feet before Xena shoved him back down to sit on the couch. He didn't see Bria when Xena kissed him. She had his shirt off and though Snake was too paranoid to be horny he went with it to try and keep Xena from getting angry. She pulled him up to his feet and pushed his hands onto the strings that ran down the side of her armor. He started untying.

The first lace was gone when pain lit up his back. It was a familiar pain, a whip that was all too noticeable by the crack it made. Snake almost buckled and caught sight of Bria with the long bullwhip in her hands. Another hit and Snake just stared. Things weren't making sense because his mind wasn't working fast enough. Xena's armor hit the ground and caused him to jump. It was the laugh though that let him catch on.

Hands came up around his waist from behind and loosened his belt. He was getting stripped. He couldn't move though because Xena has a vice like grip on his wrists. As confused and uncertain as he was the whole thing had him aroused to some point he doubted that he had ever experienced. Xena was still in front of him in only boots and the little white linen shirt. Though he couldn't see Bria he did feel bare breasts on his back. Snake couldn't contain the moan any longer. There was only one place this was going unless they intended on murder. This might well do the trick anyway.

Bria slid up between his arms that Xena was still holding. She was biting her lip and pressed in close. He could feel her whole body along his. Dying didn't matter. They could murder him now and he'd be happy, go without complaints. A sharp shove came when Xena let go of his hands and he was back on the couch. Bria wasn't in his lap though when his senses caught up. It was his wife straddling his lap. The bite to the shoulder hurt enough that he cried out and tried to push her away. The pain was over shadowed by the grinding of her hips down into his lap. For the first time since all this started Plissken really wanted and needed to be fucked.

Distracted for a moment there was more surprise when he was pulled to his feet by bonds that Snake had no idea where they had come from. His mind was a wreck and had no time to think about where the rope had come from. His mental faculties were too absorbed in trying to deal with the next round of cracks that hit his back. Snake went down to his knees. But Xena was still there with a good hold on the rope woven between his wrists. The whipping stopped leaving him leaning heavily up against Xena.

She was stroking his hair and he relaxed against her panting. The pain still hadn't subsided on his back. Her hand tightened and pushed down. Snake went with it until he was sitting back on his feet. He caught his balance in just enough time to be pulled by the hair forward so his face was buried between his wife's legs. Snake wasn't going to argue. She was soaked and it had been so long since he'd been with her that he eagerly pressed his mouth to her licking away at the wetness.

A moment of perfect enjoyment passed before a crack over his shoulder and the previous bite brought his senses full on again. Only one though before he felt bare thighs against the back of his shoulders. His eye opened to see the two women he wanted more than anything lost in a deep kiss. They stopped and smiled. They pulled at his bound hands shifting him around. His back to Xena's legs he knew what was next. His head lulled and he felt his whole body tingle the instant he tasted the mix of his wife on his lips and the equally wet skin of Bria. Snake didn't often get off without sex but trapped, bound and beaten in this circumstance was about to.

As if they knew both women let him kneeling on the floor and headed for the couch. Xena peeled off the damp white linen shirt and tossed it down before crawling on the couch. He got such a good look at both of them that he started trying to wriggle his hands out of the bonds. He was free before they settled in the couch. Bria was closer and he grabbed her kissing roughly up her neck. His knees were already pushing between her legs. He needed one of them right now and she was the closest. Xena grabbed his shoulders and gave him a stern look.

Snake smiled nipping her lower lip. "What baby? You want me first?"

There wasn't an answer aside from the sudden pressure that forced him out of Bria's lap and back onto the couch. Xena was being more aggressive than usual when she pinned him down. It didn't matter when he felt her opening to him. He could never have imagined how much he missed her body.

"You're mine." She nearly growled those words at him before she started riding him as hard as she could on the limited space of the couch. Snake's whole head felt hazy as his blood pressure elevated to the point his vision started to blur. He hated his eye and the hurt but the feeling of those familiar hips grinding down made everything seem like nothing.

The need to hold on was too much. First his hands grabbed her hips then slid up to find another pair already cradling her breasts. Snake looked up and Bria was looking down at him over Xena's shoulder. He knew that expression. It was the one she flashed at him from across the room that said "tonight you're getting fucked senseless". It was more than enough to push him to fill his wife. Panting he didn't know if she'd come or not until his sight cleared to reveal her flushed cheeks. Another thought crossed his mind. He was still on the drugs. He could get them knocked up. The thought of getting to them both on the same night drove him half mad with lust.

Xena leaned down to kiss him and he shifted her to lay beside him. It was a precarious position but he managed. Lips pressed to his wife's and his tongue flicking over hers he got his free hand around Bria's wrist and started pulling. The pleasant giggle as she fell onto his chest was so different from how Xena reacted. He took a kiss from Bria whispering against her lips loud enough for Xena to hear.

"Fuck me honey." Snake let her go. His girlfriend's hand was already around his cock working it hard again. Xena kissed him stroking his chest and watching Bria very intently. One hand in Xena's hair Snake slid the other up between her thighs and started fingering the mixed wetness that ran sticky onto her legs. He toyed with her until he felt the telltale jerk of her hips that said he had the right spot.

Bria mounted him and Snake was once more panting. With Xena beside him biting his neck and chest, Bria's nails ripping into his chest and the way Bria's body danced on him Snake felt like he was imagining what was happening. There was no way anything could feel this good. He couldn't even form a moan between ragged breaths. Bria came and sat on him. He was wild from her stillness. His mind was still on knocking them both up, just fucking them both until he ran dry. Plissken rolled forgetting they were on the couch. They hit the floor but Bria was laughing. He knew she wasn't hurt. That was all he needed to know before he started slamming into her. He was starting to take control now. He could feel it. Snake was covered in sweat, wet hair and only now was he coming down from the sexual high enough to see they were both in the same condition. Blood was smeared on Bria's chest when Xena pulled him up to kneel by his hair. He grabbed Bria's knees to keep her still while he rammed into her. Xena's mouth covered his, biting more than kissing.

This time the build was getting to him. Xena held him up by the hair biting his neck. His own arms were laced through Bria's legs and his whole upper body pulled with every thrust. The little whimpers from Bria were good ones. She was hurting but just enough that it was pleasure and not true pain. She pawed at his hands grabbing the wrists and pulling. He slipped away from Xena to lay over Bria. His arms wrapped tightly around her Snake knew what she wanted. He fell into his own pace driving himself toward another orgasm. She would have one too before he did. He knew by the cries and the way she buried her face into his neck. Plissken's own orgasm rocked him to the point he just laid there. His head was pounding again from eye pain. He was out of breath.

Xena gave him a second before she tugged at him. He crawled up onto the couch with her and Bria followed. The two women sat one on either side as he pushed his sweat soaked hair out of his face. Bria seemed content to curl up in his one arm while she caught her breath too. His wife on the other hand was sinking down. He watched her head lower then felt her hair on his thighs and the mouth warm around his cock. Bria kissed him while his ragged breathing went on. He was in for another round.

Snake's eye opened to the bright room. He was panting like he'd ran and the sheet tangled around him was damp with sweat. It took a moment to get his bearing before he could even think. The dream was still fresh in his mind but he wasn't hard. It didn't take long for his mind to figure out why. Snake laughed at himself. What man over forty still had wet dreams? Apparently he did and Snake found it downright amusing. Maybe this whole getting old deal was a shame. He certainly didn't feel old when he sat up on the bed and stretched still replaying the dream he'd woke up from.


End file.
